Stone Heart
by OpalSparrow
Summary: "They can't hurt me. I'm not like the rest of you. There's no one left I love." With President Snow determined to break her and the people she loves caught in the crosshairs, Johanna Mason is beginning to wonder if surviving the 71st Annual Hunger Games was worth it.
1. Chapter 1 - Victor

**Chapter 1 - Victor**

She took another step, and groaned loudly.

"Food…please!" She croaked to the cameras she knew must exist all around her. She heard a twig snap behind her; the bait had been taken. She took several more slow, over-dramatic steps before collapsing at the foot of a tree. The smell of earth and pine needles bombarded her as she lay face down. Barely moving she gently felt through it's roots for her dagger.

_Come on, come on, where are you?_

The clear sound of footsteps behind her, slow, cautious. Face down; her fingers continued to grope through the soil beneath her. As the footsteps behind her grew bolder and louder she began to fear her dagger was gone. Had she fallen in the wrong spot? All these stupid trees looked the same. A sickening pit had begun to form in her stomach when she finally slid her fingers around the hilt of her weapon.

The footsteps behind her were painstakingly slow and uncomfortably close; she could almost imagine his eager breath on her neck.

_Just a little closer, you bastard._

The footsteps stopped, just inches behind where she lay facedown. In an instant she jumped to her side and threw her dagger in the direction of the footsteps. With a thud the blade buried itself into the body of a young boy from District One. Still holding an axe above his head, he shrieked due to a mixture of pain and confusion. He dropped his axe and suddenly the pine scented air became drenched in the smell of blood. His face began to pale and he fell to the ground. She quickly jumped to her feet and retrieved the fallen axe. He was panting as a sickening crimson stain spread from his wound.

"Please..?"

"Don't worry I'll make this quick." She said, bringing the axe down on his neck. Blood spurted across the woodland floor as the sound of a cannon rang through the air.

"And there you have it folks. Today we've witnessed history being made. The winner of the 71st Hunger Games is Johanna Mason!"

There were many things Johanna could have done in that moment. If she were from District One or Two she might have jumped for joy. But she wasn't, she was just Johanna, and in that moment all she could do was laugh until laughter turned to sobbing.

* * *

Light and voices muffled as if by water. Crisp and clean, no smell of blood on pine here.

"She's coming around. Johanna?"

The female voice sounded familiar to Johanna, like home?

"Mom?"

"I told you she hit her head hard when the careers were after her" Johanna recognised this voice. A male one, one that used to spark irritancy but now fuels anger. That anger centred her. That fire in her stomach cleared the fog that Capitol drugs had left in her mind.

"Blight?" Johanna asked.

"I'm here darling. So is Sola."

"Excellent. Sola can stay. You can go jump off a cliff."

"What?"

"You heard me. Victor's orders. Get out!"

"I…but, what?" Blight attempted to stutter a response.

"I'm going to say this calmly, but if I have to repeat myself once more I'm going to start looking for an axe. You didn't help him, you left him to die. Get. Out. Of. My. ROOM!"

"Blight, maybe you could give us a moment." Sola said. Her voice was calm but there was an edge to it. Johanna's vision cleared just in time to make out the sight of Blight storming off. She was in a small room. It was white and clean, the site of her reconstruction post-games. A quick glance at her body and it was clear that all the damage had been undone. Not a single scar remained.

Sitting at the end of her bed was Sola. There was a softness about her features that made her seem like someone who wouldn't harm a fly. Her brutal victory in her hunger games told another story.

"You did it, girl. I knew we had a winner in you." Sola paused before quickly adding as if it were an after thought, "I'm sorry about Edwin".

"When I met him he said he hadn't received anything from the sponsors. He was terrified… I lost my axe trying to save him… I, why didn't he get anything? Why did Blight abandon him?"

"It wasn't Blight's fault. Sponsors often tend to favour one tribute over another from each district. We didn't see how it ended by the way, tributes fighting to save one another tends not to make the highlight reel."

"It's my fault? I got a lot of gifts. I killed-"

"No you did not. There is a murderer here but it's not you, sweet girl."

Sola moved up the bed and cupped Johanna's hands in her own. For a moment they stayed like this in silence. It was the first human contact Johanna had had in days that held no potential for danger. There was great comfort in it.

"I just can't wait until we get to go home." Johanna said. Her voice quivered and threatened to break "Screw the interview, can't we just go now?"

Sola frowned for a moment before pulling Johanna into a hug.

Her face buried into Johannas hair, she whispered "The games don't end in the arena. Never show them your true face. Cameras everywhere. Keep playing."

Sola quickly retracted from the hug and stood.

"No one get's to come between the capitol and their victor." She said as she walked towards the door. "Your interview is in a few hours. I'll go get Florin and Noctus to help you get ready."

Johanna's hands were balled into fists so tight that her knuckles appeared as white as the walls of her room. She said nothing for fear that if she opened her mouth she'd start screaming and never be able to stop. Over and over in her head she could hear Sola's words as if they were on repeat.

_The games don't end in the arena._

* * *

"We've met the prep team, spoken to the escort, and applauded the mentor but now it is time for the moment you've all been waiting for." Caeser paused for dramatic effect before continuing on to say, "Now it is time to meet the devilish dame from District Seven, Johanna Mason ladies and gentlemen!"

The crowd went wild as the lowly figure of their victor was raised on a platform from beneath the stage. Screams of declarations of love and adoration were all that could be heard. Johanna laughed, smiled and waved; all of her actions guided by what Sola had said to her earlier, _keep playing._ Johanna had never really considered what happened to victors after the games because winning and survival had been the only two things to focus on once she had been reaped. She had thought the victors went home and once a year acted as mentors but other than that were free to live out their lives as they wished. She had been so naïve. Becoming a victor offered no freedom, it just made you into a very special kind of pet to the Capitol. A pet that would be punished severely if it did not appreciate it's master.

Caeser Flickerman quickly made a few jokes as he escorted Johanna like a mother duck to her throne. The throne was a monstrosity of excess; polished metals and sparkling jewels. It looked both gaudy and uncomfortable, which Johanna mused is likely the true aesthetic of the Capitol. Caeser made a few more jokes before he settled into his seat beside Johanna. This show would last three hours and would be mandatory viewing for all of Panem. The lights dimmed and as the symbol appeared on the screen Johanna's heart began to race. She couldn't face this again; she couldn't face what she had done in the games. She killed people in order to survive and that blood would never be cleaned from her hands. Her gut instinct was to flee, to just run from the stage and never come back. But she couldn't, her legs were frozen, her heart continued to race and the effort of maintaining a smile on her face was nothing short of excruciating pain. She tugged nervously at the hem of her dark green dress and then without warning the footage began to play.

The footage was a condensed three hour highlight reel of weeks worth of material. Whoever edited this had the opportunity to skew it into their own story and Johanna quickly realised with grim dread that this year's story was that of a deceptive, cut throat from District Seven. They showed her interviews where she pretended to be completely incapable and unthreatening. She remembered Sola mentoring her for those interviews; _Make them think you are uninteresting. Make sure they underestimate you, you don't want them to see you as a threat and attempt to hunt you down. Never show them your true face._ As the interviews faded to be replaced by the pine forest of Johanna's hunger games the knot in her stomach tightened. Cheesy uplifting music began to play in the background as the footage became made up of mostly action shots juxtaposed with footage of her meeting the other tribute from District Seven, Edwin. This was followed by footage of her first kill, a boy from District Twelve whose axe she stole. Video Johanna looked terrifying as she killed him with his own weapon. Her demonic face as he cried out for help was monstrous to behold but the crowd kept cheering. Johanna knew she wasn't smiling now; it was taking every aspect of her self-control to not cry. More footage of Edwin, he was starving and she shared her food with him. This scene was cut short. Tributes becoming friends was not something to showcase. The scene changed to her as she faced off against the careers pack with Edwin; he looked terrified. She threw her axe, the camera angle didn't allow the viewer to see who she was throwing it at but Johanna would never forget missing that smug bastard from District One as he caught her axe and threw it back. Of course the footage didn't reflect this, in it she throws the axe and then in the next clip Edwin is falling to the ground with an axe buried deep into his chest. Tears welled in Johanna's eyes as she watched video Johanna flee from the scene of the 'double cross'. This is how the Capitol had decided to paint her, as the double-crossing tribute that would do anything to win. With tribute numbers dwindling the footage began to jump between clips of tributes fighting and Johanna pretending to be starving or fainting in order to lure other tributes into traps. The highlight reel had been spliced together with only one goal in mind, to make the Districts hate her.

The three hour spectacle ended with video Johanna looking up at the sky and laughing. The mania of her laugh was only matched by the chaotic applause of the audience. The video cut out before she began sobbing to complete her demonization in the eyes of the viewer. With the video concluded the anthem began to play and they all rose. Johanna couldn't force herself to smile as President Snow walked towards her followed by a small girl carrying a cushion on which a crown to match her throne rested. He smiled gently as he placed the crown on her brow but his eyes were full of gloating. Johanna tried her best to smile back but the video had sapped her of her spirit. She had been crushed. Despite this, the audience erupted into cheering once more as Caeser Flickerman finally bid them goodnight.

* * *

It wasn't until she was on the train home that Johanna began to relax. Sola was sitting beside her holding her hands to comfort her. Blight had taken Florin and Noctus to another carriage to keep them from bombarding Johanna with questions of the games. While she may not have much patience with Blight, for that small reprieve she'd be eternally grateful.

On the screens all around her played her interview from earlier that day with Caeser Flickerman. She looked positively insane as her smiling façade threatened to break every time Edwin was mentioned. Sola had warned her from revealing the truth of the video manipulation live on camera; the repercussions would be dire.

"His family are going to hate me, aren't they? Johanna finally asked.

"Probably, yes. You could tell them the truth in private but even if they believed you it may not change anything. You're alive where he died." Sola answered. She was always so matter of fact. Something that Johanna greatly appreciated.

"Is this what you meant, when you said the games don't end in the arena?"

"Yes, the rules change and the enemies become more shrouded in shadows but you never stop playing."

Johanna felt cold, like all the joy had left her body and would never return again. She thought of her family back home, she thought of Lucy. Would they be punished if she didn't play the Capitols game? For the fist time ever she wondered if surviving the games was worth it.


	2. Chapter 2 - Heart

**Chapter 2 – Heart**

Stepping off the train was jarring. With just one step Johanna felt like she had left the land of excess and luxury and fallen back into a world of fear and pain. For starters no one in the angry mob which had formed there to greet her had multi-coloured hair that looked like candyfloss. Equally people tended not to form mobs in order to shout abuse at Johanna in the Capitol.

Peacekeepers lined the edges of the station in order to keep the screaming mob from getting the chance to tear her to pieces. It seemed to be a mob that was led by Edwin's family. Johanna recognised them from reaping day where they had been in floods of tears. At seventeen Edwin had been the youngest of six brothers. All of his siblings were too old to volunteer in his stead and it did nothing short of break them to see the youngest be summoned like a lamb to the slaughter. Their family had almost escaped the hunger games but now it's darkness would likely never leave their hearts.

"Not quite the reception I expected." Noctus said. The pale man who served as her escort had never seemed comfortable in the Districts. A mob must seem like barbaric behaviour to someone brought up in the privilege of the Capitol, Johanna mused to herself.

"Yeah, being a Victor seems fun." Johanna said.

"Oh this is nothing, back when I won-"

"Blight, be a dear and save that story for someone who cares." Johanna said.

The cacophony of noise that was the mob suddenly changed into very clear chanting, "NO TRAITORS IN DISTRICT SEVEN!"

"Charming." Florin muttered, her dark eyes darting from the mob to the peacekeepers.

As if prompted by the chanting, a peacekeeper quickly left his post and approached them.

"Noctus, Florin. You're both asked to get back on the train and return to the Capitol. We cannot guarantee your safety here."

"With pleasure, darling." Florin said as she turned on her heel. From the safety of the train she shouted back to Johanna, "Bye Sweetie, we'll see you for the tour."

"I am so proud of you." Noctus said as he hugged her. It was an uncomfortable hug, but out of all the attention Johanna was getting at the train station it was definitely not the worst. Once the train had begun it's long journey back home the peacekeeper turned his attention to Johanna, or at least she thought he did. The visor made it impossible to tell, he could be sticking his tongue out at her and she'd never know.

"Ms. Mason we are to escort you and your mentors to your new home in the Victor's Village. Your family and friends are waiting for you there. President Snow has ordered us to guard the estate so you'll be safe there."

"Of course he did. Couldn't have me mixing with people and having them accidentally like me again."

"Johanna…" Sola warned.

"Alright, sorry. Lead on peacekeeper man."

* * *

Her new home in Victor's Village was huge. No, huge was definitely an understatement in Johanna's eyes; this building was massive. She barely had time to take in the polished stone and varnished wood that made up her new manor before her family were upon her. Her mother and brother hugged her so tight they almost choked the life out of her. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a flash of blonde hair.

"Lucy?" Johanna screeched in delight as she freed herself from the clutches of her family. Lucy ran to her and suddenly she was trapped in another potentially life ending embrace.

Through the chaos of their reunion Johanna faintly recognised the sound of Sola and Blight bidding her goodbye. Being their neighbours was certainly going to be interesting. Though before she could think too much on it, her brother, mother, and Lucy had cocooned her in a group hug. Someone was crying, maybe they all were, and for one brief moment Johanna allowed herself to dream that there was a chance that everything would be ok.

* * *

"Look, I know the games are probably the last thing you want to talk about but we need to know." Johanna's Mother said. Her dark brown hair was messy and unkempt. She also seemed to have accumulated a collection of wrinkles around her eyes and forehead that Johanna hadn't noticed before, although maybe it was just her imagination.

"No, it's ok really. There's no sense keeping it to myself. But once we talk about this, it's done. I'm happy to share but I don't want to talk about it forever. I…" Johanna's voice quivered. "I can't live in the games forever. I have to try and m…move on."

She would not cry. Not yet. They had gathered in the dining room to talk and catch up. After Johanna had gotten over the initial shock of having a dining room she had grown suspicious about just what exactly they needed to talk about.

"I guess what your mother is trying to ask" Lucy said before pausing, clearly thinking of her next words carefully, "Is why did you kill him the way that you killed him? We all get that only one person can survive but when we're going to be defending you from the mob we need to know what you were thinking."

"Edwin was my friend," Her brother added, "I know you had to do anything you could do to survive. But I, I dunno if he deserved that…"

"You're right, he didn't deserve it. Which is probably why I didn't do it." Johanna snapped.

"What do you mean?" Lucy asked. "We saw you kill him?"

Johanna sighed, her composure threatened to fall to pieces at a moment's notice but she needed to clear her name before she could rest easy. She glanced around at her family and Lucy; they were all seated at a wooden dining table big enough to fit at least twenty. The house was designed to mirror a log cabin in aesthetic but it felt closer to a mansion. There was even a faint smell of sap wafting through the air to complete the effect. It was clear to Johanna that this house was just as excessive as the Capitol; hundreds of trees must have been felled in it's construction. How could she ever call this place home?

With one more sigh to steady her nerves Johanna began to tell them the truth of how she'd found Edwin half starving to death. They listened in silence as she detailed the plan she had formed with him to take on the career pack. Wide eyed, they could only stare as she told them about how badly their stand off with the careers had gone. Her brother's face contorted when she finally revealed that the Capitol had edited the footage to make her seem more monstrous.

"It was their way of deciding who I'd be after the games. They probably don't like the idea of a Victor deciding anything for themselves after the games." Johanna finished. She felt drained like she'd just poured out part of her soul on the polished dining table. For a while, silence descended over the group.

"Those bastards" Her brother finally said.

"Isaac, language!" Her mother snapped.

"You've got to tell the people" Isaac began. "That mob would become your own personal army if they knew the truth."

"Which is exactly why she can't do it." Lucy said. "Think about it, the Capitol kill twenty-three children annually for a crime our ancestors committed seventy-one years ago. How do you think they'll respond to more immediate transgressions?"

"You should at least tell Edwin's family. They deserve to know the truth." Isaac said, somewhat deflated.

"I'm not sure what I should do, but I do know what I'm going to do, and that's go to bed. Believe it or not becoming public enemy number one is actually pretty tiring." Johanna said before promptly leaving the dining room. She needed to be alone again; she hadn't even had the time to mourn Edwin yet. As tired as she was she knew there'd be no rest in sleeping, every night since the games she'd woken up screaming; her dreams filled with the choking smell of blood on pine.

* * *

"From what I hear the mob has become more of a disgruntled group of friends and family." Lucy said. She and Johanna had quickly come to realise that the only place that they could be left to themselves, was the woods. Johanna had wanted to return to work immediately, but apparently it was forbidden for Victors to work. She imagined this was Snow's way of keeping her from rekindling any support from her District. Not being allowed to see the other work crews didn't bother her too much but what she really missed was the smell of the sawdust, and the feeling of lying in a bed exhausted after a long day's work.

"Ah yes, an angry, grieving group of friends and family. Absolutely nothing to worry about there. Nope. Safe as houses." Johanna said.

"Has Isaac had any luck with them?"

"He, Sola, and mom are trying to arrange a meeting between his…" the word caught in her mouth, "…family and me. No results yet."

"Don't worry, they'll come around in time."

Both girls continued walking. The woods were alive that day, filled with the sounds of Mockingjays hunting buzzing insects, and the trickling water of a nearby stream.

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you." Lucy said, stopping suddenly. Small rays of sunshine broke through the thick deciduous woodland illuminating Lucy's hair. In Johanna's eyes, she looked like an angel.

"Well go on then?" Johanna said.

"It's just you said you didn't want to talk about the games-"

"Spit it out." Johanna said. Lucy was many things but direct was not one of them.

"Well it's just, I've seen how you looked at him on the cameras, and I see how you react when he comes up in conversation. And I guess, I'm just wondering, well, did you love him? Or like him even, as maybe more than a friend? He was pretty good looking."

"You're an idiot." Johanna said.

"Look I'm sorry-"

Before Lucy could finish, Johanna grabbed her and kissed her. She kissed her like she was drowning and Lucy's mouth was air. She kissed her like it might be the last time, because as recent history had proven to Johanna, life could be fleeting.

"Edwin was my friend, but you are the only person that I want." Johanna said when they finally parted lips before adding, "I love you."


	3. Chapter 3 - Ghost

**Chapter 3 – Ghost**

Eight pairs of eyes stared her down, their collective gaze a mix of accusations, fury, and grief. Almost unblinking; they listened to every word Johanna said with undiluted attention. Johanna had to stop herself from fidgeting with the rough edges of the stool she was sitting on. Surveying the scene from behind her stood Sola. The comfort offered by the presence of her mentor and neighbour was monumental, and it allowed Johanna the strength she needed to keep her voice steady.

"In the end the footage was twisted to make me into the sort of Victor that the Capitol wanted." Johanna said.

"Bullshit!" The youngest of Edwin's older brothers snapped. His eyes were full of tears and it looked like he was going to say more but couldn't find the composure to successfully form words.

"Tren!" Edwin's father said, before turning to address Johanna, "That's a nice story, but at the end of the day that's all it is. It's words. Words that won't bring our son back."

"I know, but I-" Johanna began.

"You survived where he died." Edwin's mother said softly, her lips barely moving.

"I'm sorry." Johanna said. She was staring firmly at the ground now; every fibre of her being was willing herself not to cry in front of the people that had lost so much.

"You misunderstand," Edwin's mother said, "I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but your story; be it tragically true or sincerely false is of little solace to us. When we look at you we see a ghost. When I look at you I see the dead boy who is never coming home. Looking at you hurts us. We'll disband the mob but it's probably best we don't see you again."

From somewhere behind Johanna, Sola cleared her throat, "While you still have that mobs attention, we have a favour to ask."

"You want a favour from us? What gives you the right to ask for that?" One of Edwin's brothers said.

Ignoring him, Sola continued on to say, "Every year our kids go to those games and they get slaughtered by career tributes. If we train them now, during their recreation hours, they may have a chance to survive should they be reaped. You have three Victors in this District that are forbidden from working, but we have life saving skills and knowledge to pass on. We would ask that you keep this offer from the peacekeepers, spread the word, and utilise us."

Sola's words marked the end of their meeting and they all quickly disbanded. As they left the home of Edwin's family Johanna was sure she heard someone say, "Well it's clearly not accurate axe throwing skills…"

* * *

"But what are you actually going to be able to teach us that we don't already know? I mean everyone here has known how to use an axe since they were a toddler." Lucy said.

She, Isaac and Johanna were sitting on tree stumps in a recently deforested part of the District; the setting sun painted the sky above them in beautiful twilight colours.

"Well there's a lot more to the games that tributes don't realise. The interviews are easily the worst part." Johanna said.

"Well asides from all the brutal death." Isaac added.

"Yeah, asides from that." Johanna said.

"But what will all of you be teaching?" Lucy said.

"Well according to Sola, Blight is a dab hand at getting sponsors for tributes, though I remain unconvinced. Sola is going to teach survival skills; what's poisonous and what's edible, and all of that sort of stuff. I'd have likely starved to death without her help. I'm teaching weapons and hand to hand combat."

"Hand to hand combat?" Lucy said.

"Yeah, Dad taught us before he died. Though some of us were better than others." Isaac said with a smirk.

"You're right, I am better." Johanna said and they all laughed. Johanna had always been great at the theory and technique of fighting but never very talented when it came to practical applications. Her survival instincts in the games and the adrenaline rush they caused, seemed to have given her the push she needed to put all she knew into practice.

"He taught all this before I was on the scene?" Lucy said.

"Yeah, he was a good man." Johanna said and Isaac nodded in agreement.

A few years prior, a pandemic had swept through District Seven. Instead of offering aid, the Capitol had quarantined the ill causing most of them to die of their symptoms or starvation. Johanna and Isaac's father, along with both of Lucy's parents had been among the victims. With nowhere else to turn Johanna invited her then friend Lucy to live with them. Times had been tough, but looking from Lucy to Isaac, Johanna couldn't help but smile. Things were going to be ok again.

"Well we best be heading home," Johanna said jumping up from her stump, "The peacekeepers tend to get a bit anxious if they don't see me at least once every two hours or so."

* * *

The massive dining table still boggled Johanna's mind, she didn't think she even knew enough people to ever fill it's seats.

"It's a bold idea." Johanna's mother said over her bowel of stew. The winnings from the games had meant that they'd been eating ridiculously well since she'd returned home.

"Do you 'ink I shouldn't do it?" Johanna said, her mouth half full.

"I'm not sure what you should do. But I know you're dad would be so proud of you."

"Well even if it does get shut down by the peacekeepers, I'm still going to train you two." Johanna said gesturing towards Lucy and Isaac with her spoon.

"What, why?" Isaac scoffed "We're both more formidable and accurate with axes than you are."

"We are not ending up like Edwin's family. I won't allow it". Johanna said slamming her hands onto the table. Lucy, Isaac, and her mother all stared at her. Though she knew it was her mind playing tricks on her; she was sure she could smell the odour of blood on pine, and it felt like it was choking her. Despite the fact that she hated herself for it and didn't fully understand why it was happening, Johanna began to cry.


	4. Chapter 4 - Mind

** Chapter 4 - Mind**

"What is the best way to light a fire?" Sola's question hung in the silence of her own cabin manor. Sixteen kids tried desperately to avoid making eye contact with their teacher lest they be forced to answer.

One boy eventually raised his hand and said "Well, friction would probably be best?"

"Wrong answer." Sola said, "It was a trick question. There is no best way to light a fire in the games because lighting a fire creates smoke, creating smoke attracts attention, and attracting attention will get you killed."

Johanna smiled from her vantage point at the back of Sola's living room. Sola was very fond of trick questions, she felt it kept her pupils engaged.

Sixteen boys and girls furiously scribbled down every word their teacher said on paper procured from the peacekeepers. It had been thought that if the peacekeepers discovered their training everything would be shut down; but instead the opposite had happened, President Snow actually sanctioned the use of supplies albeit with peacekeeper supervision. It hadn't taken Johanna long to realise that this, just like the Victory Tour was another way of reminding the Districts that the games never really went away, they were still at the mercy of the Capitol. The thought of being paraded in the Victory Tour made Johanna shudder; she just wanted it to all go away, she wanted to fade away into the background where she could endure the nightmares filled with pine in peace.

The sound of bells chiming throughout District 7 brought Sola's class to an end. With a barrage of _Thank Yous_, sixteen potential tributes rushed out of Sola's house and back to work. As tolerant as they had been thus far, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that the peacekeepers would punish tardiness and absence from work, harshly.

"So what are you going to teach them next?" Johanna asked, genuinely curious.

"I think some rock climbing might be in order if I can get some safety equipment. Learning to climb just seems like a useful skill for the games." Sola said. "How did your class go today, you must have been finished early to make it here before the end of mine?"

"That group's fitness is awful. One boy looked like he was going to pass out and he was barely even jogging. Next time I have them I'm making them jog the whole of the north wood."

"Oh they must hate you." Sola said.

"Impossible, I'm such a delight." Johanna said and they both laughed.

"Who do you have tomorrow?" Sola said.

"I think it's Lucy's group. They're leagues ahead so I'm doing combat training with them."

Sola gestured towards her dining table and they both sat down. The older woman quickly produced tea for them; her grey her tied into a tight bun to keep it out of her eyes as she worked.

"Do you think we're making a difference?" Sola said.

"I'm not sure." Johanna said. "But Isaac certainly thinks so. He say's that for the first time ever there's a sense of hope around this place."

"He'll probably not say that come reaping day."

* * *

"You see someone coming towards you with an axe, what is the first thing you do? Isaac?" Johanna asked. She had taken to training her tributes in the grassy expanse located behind her new home. Sparring in the elements was as good a replica for combat in the games as she could think of.

"You try to move around their swing and get them off balance" He answered.

"Wrong. You follow your instincts; you run and get the upper ground. Fight on your terms." Johanna said. Isaac nodded silently in response; he never found it easy to be wrong.

"So once we have the upper ground, what then?" A young girl said. She couldn't have been older than fourteen and the thought of mentoring this small girl through the games made Johanna feel uneasy.

"That's when you put into action everything we've practiced. Next we'll practice disarming an opponent. No matter how skilled you are this requires a lot of luck so treat it as a last resort. Lucy, will you demonstrate with me?"

The thin, blonde girl stepped forward in response.

"Here, take this." Johanna said throwing her a wooden axe; Lucy caught it effortlessly. The peacekeepers had given them a whole host of archaic wooden weapons to practice with; it was certainly better than nothing.

"So what do you want me to do with this? Give you a splinter?" Lucy said.

"Ha Ha. Very funny." Johanna said, and then turning to address her class she added, "Lucy is going to attack me with the axe and I am going to disarm her. Pay close attention to the movements. Lucy, when you're ready."

Without warning Lucy charged Johanna; axe high above her head. Johanna sidestepped her and caught Lucy's wrist squeezing to apply pressure; twisting Johanna threw Lucy over her knee as the wooden axe fell from her grip. Lucy fell hard onto her back and into a particularly thick tuft of grass.

"Ow" Lucy said. "I don't think I can move."

"Oh Lucy!" Johanna said kneeling down beside the fallen girl. She placed her hands under Lucy's shirt to check her ribs. "I'm so sorry, where does it hurt?"

"Eh Johanna?" Lucy said whilst glancing down at Johanna's hands on her chest and then to the class of wide-eyed onlookers.

"So after we disarm them, you want us to make out with them?" Isaac said.

* * *

That night Johanna snuck out of her home and sat on her front step to watch the night sky. Her nightmares had been getting worse as the Victory Tour got closer; soon she'd have to don the mask of the _devilish dame from District Seven _once more_. _The icy night air combined with her own cold sweat chilled her to the bone but it was still preferable to the distress of sleep. She may have survived the games, but her mind felt like a shattered and broken thing. Johanna knew she was suffering and she knew she wasn't ok. Her thoughts were consumed with darkness and the blood on her hands that she'd never be clean of. She may not have carried any physical evidence of the games but within her inner most thoughts she was a tapestry of the trauma she had endured. She needed help, and had absolutely no idea how to ask for it.


	5. Chapter 5 - Doubt

**Chapter 5 - Doubt**

"Why does this feel like some sort of final meal?"

"Oh Johanna, honestly. Always so dramatic." Blight said.

"Blight-" Johanna said.

"Oh yes, I know, 'shut up Blight'." He mimicked.

As it did every year, the Victory Tour had snuck up on them. In less than twenty-four hours, every waking moment of Johanna would be broadcasted to the Districts and the Capitol as she toured Panem. It was bad enough that she was about to be utilised as a symbol of oppression, but who knew how the footage would be skewed. Maybe this time they'd finish the assassination of her character that they'd began in the games.

All of this uncertainty left Johanna tense and that tension spread to those closest to her. Seemingly in an effort to alleviate the negativity of impending uncertainty, Sola had invited Johanna, her family, Lucy, and Blight to come over to her home for dinner. Sola was a kind woman without a doubt, but grand gestures weren't her sort of thing and the whole 'prepared from scratch' dinner left Johanna feeling nothing short of suspicious.

Upon finishing the apple pie that had been made for dessert Johanna's mother declared, "Sola, that was amazing!"

"Yeah, top notch cooking." Isaac chimed in from his position at Sola's own overly large dining table.

"Well I'm glad you all enjoyed it because myself and Blight have something to tell you."

"If they're getting married I might vomit." Lucy whispered to Johanna. Johanna stifled a laugh. The small blonde girl was sitting right beside her, their hands clasped together beneath the table.

"So what doom and gloom are you trying to get me to swallow with apple pie?" Johanna said with a smirk.

"We… wont be going on the Victory Tour with you." Sola said.

"WHAT! What could possibly be more important than… oh…. the kids" Johanna said.

"We really can't be wasting time travelling all over Panem with you." Blight said.

"What Blight is trying to say," Sola said before Johanna could respond, "is that once the tour ends it's only a couple of months until the reaping and the kids still have so much to learn. They need us."

"But I need you." Johanna said and she instantly hated herself for saying it. She sounded so weak.

"Couldn't we go with her?" Johanna's mother said.

"Absolutely not. Family are forbidden from touring." Blight said.

Johanna was staring at the ground now; she squeezed Lucy's hand and felt the pressure returned in kind.

"Johanna, you will be fine," Sola said, "Noctus and Florin will be with you every step of the way. All that's expected of you is to play a character. Never show them your true face."

Johanna felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. She had known the Victory Tour was going to be tough but doing it alone without Sola was a whole new realm of terrifying.

"Johanna, are you ok?" Lucy said snapping Johanna from her inner, silent turmoil.

"I'll be ok. Just promise me one thing guys, whatever you see on the cameras, don't believe a word of it." Johanna said, and without hesitation they all swore that they wouldn't believe the lies of the Capitol, even Blight who attempted to launch into a story about his youth before a look from Johanna shut him up.

* * *

"Get up!"

"Wha…?' Johanna said, still straddling the mental state between the waking world and the land of sleep. It was light out, but definitely early. As her eyes adjusted to the gloom, Johanna noticed the ice outside her windows and was silently grateful for the human hot water bottle that was Lucy, who was still entangled around her in a sleeping embrace.

"He's here." Isaac said, the panic in his voice ringing clear.

"Who's here?" Lucy said, eyes still closed.

"Snow!"

Johanna jumped from her bed with such force it was as if she'd been struck by a bolt of lightning.

"Stall him" Johanna said, darting to her wardrobe to find something to wear.

"No need. He's set himself up in the study and claims he will remain there until you're ready to talk. At least four peacekeepers with him too."

* * *

"Ms. Mason, a pleasure." President Snow said whilst gesturing towards a seat in front of the desk. He had installed himself behind the desk in her home whilst the four peacekeepers kept watch at the door. She felt eyes on her and imagined even the slightest sudden movement could result in death; as such she made a conscious effort to keep her gestures grand and her movements slow.

"You wanted to see me?" Johanna said.

"I was hoping we could have a talk before you were swept up in the grandeur of the Victory Tour." President Snow said. The president was dressed in a manner that stood out, but not to the gaudy excess of others in the Capitol. His powder blue suit blended perfectly with the white of his hair whilst simultaneously contrasting the red rose pinned to his breast.

"What about?" Johanna said. Her heart was beating fast, she was so frightened of this man and she wasn't even sure why.

"We've been watching you since your return home." His every word was pungent with the smell of roses and copper, no not copper, blood. The scent of blood and roses wasn't far removed from the scent of blood and pine. That realisation sent the butterflies in Johanna's stomach reeling.

Seemingly without prompting, a screen on the wall that Johanna had thought was just a blank picture began to display a montage of her last six months at home since the games. The Capitol had monitored every private moment she had held dear along with many she had not. Images and video clips flooded the screen; her meeting with Edwin's family, her meals with her family, her training of potential tributes, and Lucy, so much Lucy! The montage finally stopped on a shot of her kissing Lucy in the woods; the first time she had kissed her after the games.

"You're such a popular girl, and so loved as well." President Snow said.

"Thank you?" Johanna said.

"You've deviated from the script. We wanted a beautiful monster, not this!" He said gesturing towards the screen.

Now real fear descended over Johanna, was he going to hurt Lucy? "What do you want me to do?"

"That's what I like to hear." President Snow said. "For the sake of your country and those you care about you will play the character we assigned to you for the length of the tour. Then when Caesar interviews you at the end, you will denounce any ties to the pretty blonde girl. Do you understand?"

"I understand." Johanna said slowly.

"Let me be clear," President Snow said, "I do not like acting so be convincing, and when you end your relationship in the interview, keep it that way."

"You want me to…"

"I want you to be desirable, and to do as you're told." President Snow said. Without another word he got up and with peacekeepers at his heel, he left the home of Johanna Mason.

* * *

Johanna sat for a moment in silence as a numb settled over her. Sola had been right, the games hadn't ended they'd just become significantly more cloak and dagger. But of course that didn't make things any less dangerous; death still had the potential to hide behind every wrong choice or decision made. That realisation spurred Johanna to action, storming from the study she walked towards where her family and Lucy were gathered in the foyer.

"So what did Snow want?" Isaac said.

Johanna ignored him and grabbed Lucy's arm.

"Hey!"

"We need to talk." Johanna said, before dragging the smaller girl off into a side room. Johanna's new home really did seem to have a surplus of rooms with no apparent function.

"What happened? What did he want? Are you ok?" Lucy said.

"We have to break up…"

"What…?" Lucy said. Her lip seemed to tremble for a moment and her eyes started to water as cracks began to form across her heart.

"He's ordered me to dump you during the tour and he wants it to stick. He has cameras everywhere; he's been watching us together since we got back. I… I don't know what else to do…" Johanna said, her voice threatening to crack with every word.

Lucy took a deep breath and seemed to regain her composure. "Couldn't we pretend, we could be careful and only meet in secret away from cameras?"

"He has hidden cameras everywhere. All over the District, even in the woods." Johanna said.

"Aren't you even going to try?" Lucy said, her voice wavering.

"Lucy, he'll kill us…"

"Fine, do what you need to do to survive. You're good at that right?"


	6. Chapter 6 - Talent

**Chapter 6 - Talent**

Johanna sat on the edge of her bed, staring off into space. A broken hearted Lucy had run from the house in floods of tears; Johanna had wanted to follow her but Sola and Blight had forced her to stay put. The prep teams were on their way and Johanna's body was far from the standard they'd left it in. Insomnia brought on by nightmares over the last six months resulted in a pale and sickly looking Johanna; she felt a shell of the girl she had been before the games.

A metallic click as her door handle turned announced the entrance of Sola to her room. Johanna barely regarded her former mentor. The older woman ran her hand across Johanna's desk scooping up a small glass figurine of a female dancer; the intricate details of her form made the tiny dancer almost seem lifelike.

"This is beautiful." Sola said.

"Thanks, Dad got it for me back when I first started dancing. Don't know where or how though, I reckon he must have stolen it." Johanna said, turning to face Sola. She wanted so badly to tell her mentor about her confrontation with Snow that the words threatened to burst from her lungs. However fear of cameras kept her silent.

"Will you dance as your talent?" Sola asked. With no need to ever work again, Victors were supposed to take up a hobby and master it into a talent they could demonstrate to the Capitol. What good were pets if they couldn't perform tricks?

"I thought about it, but instead I'm going to show off my ability as a teacher. It fits the _character._" Johanna said the word like it disgusted her. Truth be told she never even considered dancing for the Capitol. Dancing was special to her, a way for her to express herself. It was not a party piece. It was not something to be twisted by the Capitol.

"So that's what Snow wants? Your mother told me he was here earlier." Sola said. Johanna stared into Sola's eyes and remembered her warning from months past; _keep__ playing._

Choosing her words with great care Johanna said, "He's been watching me."

"So he's likely watching you right now too. Watching us now."

"Yes."

"Johanna listen to me. I can say this now because I know it's exactly what Snow would want you to hear. The president rarely leaves the Capitol, especially not to visit a Victor. Equally he's the rare breed of man whose bite is worse then his bark. Whatever he's asked of you, do it."

"But I-"

"This is the only way to keep your family safe. To keep Lucy safe." Sola said. She was right of course; President Snow was brutality personified. Johanna nodded in response and Sola smiled.

"Now come on," Sola said, "We're going to all be missing you too much over the next few weeks for you to spend today hiding in your room."

Johanna spent the rest of the morning with her family, Sola, and Blight. They drank tea around her dining room table and shared stories. Lucy however never returned, though Johanna ached to see her again and say goodbye properly. By early afternoon the hum of cars approaching could be heard from all around. While cars weren't rare in the rural and vast District Seven, their use always had to be sanctioned by peacekeepers. To hear so many navigating their way around the winding woodlands to Victors' Village left no doubt in anyone's mind that camera crews, prep teams, and the overindulgence of the Capitol was on it's way to Johanna Mason's doorstep. The Victory Tour had begun.

* * *

A steady stream of cars poured into Victors' Village as the sun began it's slow descent over District Seven.

"Knock, knock!" A female voice called from beyond the door.

"Hello, welcome to our home," Johanna's mother said as she opened the door, "You must be Florin?"

"Charmed, darling." Florin said stepping around Johanna's mother, "And where is the lady of the hour? I have no doubt that this rural environment has left us with a lot of work to do before the cameras start rolling."

"Hello Florin." Johanna said, stepping out into the hallway.

"Oh darling, you look as lovely as the last time I saw you. Well not really, but it's still nice to see you."

"Thank you Florin. It's nice to see you too." Johanna said, and she meant it. Florin darted forward and hugged her, she smelled like cut grass. Johanna had initially despised the dark skinned woman that was her stylist, along with just about every other Capitol person she encountered. But by spending time with them during the course of her hunger games she'd come to realise her team weren't all that bad. They were just products of their environment, and as far as products of the Capitol went, they were far from the worst.

"Oh Darling, you've changed so much." Florin said as she pulled back from Johanna to fully survey her.

"I could say the same to you, are your eyes green now?"

"Green is in this year, didn't you know?" Florin said.

"How does she look?" A male voice from the doorway said.

"Noctus? We weren't expecting you for a few more hours." Florin said, stepping towards her husband and Johanna's escort. The pale man embraced his wife and for a few sickening moments Johanna, her family, and her mentors were subject to a very uncomfortable public display of affection.

"That's eh… That's a lot of saliva." Isaac said after a few moments.

"Oh sorry, sorry. We haven't seen each other in a few hours, you know how it is." Florin muttered more to herself then anyone else.

Johanna smiled in response, her thoughts suddenly consumed with Lucy; where could she be?

"Right, that's enough of pleasantries. The camera crews will be here shortly and we've a lot to do between now and then." Noctus said.

"Of course," Florin agreed, turning to address someone still outside. "Cicero, Darling! Are you, Maxima, and Glaucia ready to go? District Seven has left our Victor looking very… rustic."

As if awaiting the prompt; Johanna's prep team hurried into the building and dragged Johanna off to her room. The peaceful and mundane Johanna of District Seven had to go now, it was time for the devilish dame President Snow desired to return.

* * *

Cicero, Maxima, and Glaucia were a flurry of activity. Their vibrant hair colours blurred like a spectrum around Johanna as they went to work on her appearance. Being among her prep team was almost peaceful; with very few prompts from her the three of them would chat happily amongst themselves.

"Green and brown are massive this year. Honouring the Victor from the District of trees" Cicero said as he painted her nails.

"Everyone is just dying to see you again. People have practically rioted in the streets to get invited to the President's party" Maxima chimed in.

"It's a tough life." Johanna said.

"Oh you couldn't even imagine it." Glaucia said "I heard one man…" and then they were off talking amongst themselves again about people and places Johanna didn't know and didn't care to learn about.

The colour palette Florin had picked out for her was full of striking and vibrant shades of red and purple; she was certainly going to stand out with those on her face.

"Florin is having us change your hair colour. Brown may be in right now but we've got to always be keeping an eye on the horizon." Cicero said as he massaged a foul smelling liquid into her hair.

"My hair? You're changing my hair colour?" Johanna said, suddenly apprehensive.

"Don't worry, you'll love it. We'll make sure it fits the brief that you requested of President Snow." Maxima said. He was clearly trying to soothe her and was equally oblivious to how badly he was doing.

"Oh yes, the brief, how could I forget." Johanna said. She was defeated.

* * *

"Is Johanna ready?" Noctus called from outside.

"Done, come in." Maxima said.

The door of her room opened and in walked the unnaturally pale figure, dressed in black, that was her escort. At the sight of her, Noctus could do nothing short of gasp.

"That bad huh?" Johanna said.

"No, you just look…ferocious." Noctus said after a moment. "I'm surprised that you'd request to look this way."

"Johanna is such a trendsetter." Cicero muttered.

"Can I see?" Johanna said.

"Unfortunately, no time. Your class is assembled out back along with the camera crew. They'd like to record your talent before the sun sets." Noctus said.

Without another second wasted, Johanna was marched down the stairs. Despite all of the shortcomings of the Capitol, they certainly knew how to stick to a schedule.

* * *

As Johanna descended the stairs she caught sight of Isaac being interviewed. Dressed in grey suit and adorned with a brown tie he reminded her of something she'd seen before… BAM! Like she'd been shot through the heart, both pain and realisation hit her all at once. Isaac in his suit looked just like Edwin had during his interview with Caeser Flickerman; they even shared the same blond hair and chiselled jawlines. Johanna grabbed the bannister to steady herself. She could see so clearly in her mind the sight of Edwin lying on the ground with her axe buried in his chest. She could still smell the pine and the blood. It took everything she had to compose herself and move on.

* * *

In the crisp evening air, Johanna's class stood ready to follow her commands. This group was Lucy's, but the blonde girl was nowhere to be found. Where was she? Wearing tight clothing that certainly added to the ferocious aesthetic but would not protect them from winter's chill, her class followed Johanna through some basic movements. Isaac, who would normally be part of this group as well, watched from the kitchen window in his suit. He smiled encouragingly and Johanna was grateful for the support. Barking commands, Johanna's group moved across her garden with synchronised kicks and punches while the camera crew circled like vultures, consuming every last detail with their hungry lenses.

As the last of the sun crept over the horizon, Johanna was hurriedly brought back inside to complete a voice over for the segment. Knowing that she wasn't always the best at articulating her thoughts, Noctus had prepared some cards for her to read from. What she read from them was pretty much a thinly veiled threat to the upcoming tributes of the other Districts. The aggressive tone was everything Johanna never wanted to be and everything Snow desired her to become. Saving those she cared about was all Johanna wanted, to do that she had to follow the orders of the man in charge, and so she read every word as presented to her. It didn't matter what the people of Panem though of her as long as those she loved were safe.

"My name is Johanna Mason, and I'm training the next generation of Victors." She finished. With her talent segment complete, the camera crew quickly booted her out of the room and into the hallway so that they might finish editing in peace.

* * *

"You look different." Isaac said. He and their mother were also in the hallway, presumably left there too once their filming had been completed.

"What's it like? I've not seen myself yet." Johanna said.

"Come here, I'm assuming our bathroom is free of camera crews." Johanna's mother said guiding her down the hallway to their bathroom. There, Johanna saw herself in their full-length mirror for the first time. Her hair was a dark brown with vibrant red highlights that matched the arching makeup over her eyes along with her eye shadow. Her skin had been paled to further contrast the deep red of her lipstick and the black leather of the clothes they had dressed her in. She looked cold, alien, and terrifying. Nothing like her warm, blond mother and brother who stood either side of her.

"We're out the door in five" Noctus shouted from somewhere in the house.

"They made me look like a monster…" Johanna said, slowly taking in every aspect of her new appearance.

"Not a monster. Definitely Capitol-ish though." Isaac said.

"I think you look lovely. It will just take you time to get used to your new look." Her mother said.

"Where is Johanna?" Noctus shouted from somewhere in the house. "Sola have you seen her?"

"I guess this is it. I love you guys. Find Lucy and tell her that I said I love her too. We had a fight earlier."

"We will." Johanna's mother said.

"Now go have fun pretending to be a murderous bitch." Isaac said.

Johanna would have laughed but in that moment Noctus found them and dragged her from the house; there was no defying the Capitol's schedule. Outside the house cameras and lights greeted Johanna as, for the first time in months, the Capitol got a live look at it's ferocious Victor.


	7. Chapter 7 - Guilt

**Chapter 7 - Guilt**

The trains were an odd environment. Sleek in design and filled with an unnecessary amount of technology, furniture, and food, they were easily recognised as a Capitol construct. Whether willingly or not, the inhabitants of this train were also Capitol either by birth or by design: a handful of Peacekeepers, an escort, a stylist, a prep team, and a victor. Despite this Johanna felt oddly at peace on the train. As long as she was on this trip and did as she was told nothing bad would happen to those she loved; as long as she was on this trip she wouldn't have to witness Lucy cry. She may have been a slave to the desires of a tyrant, but as she lay in her king sized bed Johanna couldn't help but think that provided the food remained plentiful and her loved ones remained unharmed there were worse ways to be a slave. Even her nightmares had subsided, replaced by dreams of a crying Lucy walking alone on unsteady soft ground.

A knock from the door stirred Johanna from her inner thoughts.

"Johanna darling," Florin said, "Breakfast is in ten. Then we need to get you ready as we'll be approaching District Twelve by early afternoon. So come on now. It's time to get up."

Johanna had killed a boy from Twelve with his own axe in the games; what a delightful start to the tour this would be.

* * *

Johanna pushed her breakfast around her plate with her fork; despite her conscious acceptance of the positives of her situation it seemed her subconscious was determined to douse her in melancholy lest she forget that all of her current excess was bought with death. Then there was Lucy, at the edge of every thought and erupting into her mind when it dared to go blank were thoughts of Lucy. Was she ok? Was she heart broken? Would they ever see each other again?

"You haven't eaten much," Noctus said as he watched her fork dance around her plate.

"How do you do it?" Johanna said.

"Well," Noctus said hesitantly, "you put the food in your mouth and-"

"No. How do you annually march a person to their death and just accept it?"

Both her escort and stylist looked thoroughly shocked, this was probably not a line of conversation that was considered acceptable at the breakfast table. A silence hung in the air and for a moment that Johanna feared would last forever.

Finally Florin said, "The world is a strange place. You can either accept your place in it and make the most of it, or you can fight against it and get crushed beneath it."

"We do our best for them." Noctus said. "Other's mightn't try as hard as us."

"Those are the words that wipe the guilt away? 'We do our best'?" Johanna mimicked. She was being mean and she knew it, but she just couldn't help herself.

"What would you rather we do? Take a stand, lose our heads and be replaced faster than anyone could even notice. There are a line of people waiting to take our jobs." Noctus said.

They were right of course, and Johanna reluctantly agreed with a nod. A handful of people couldn't oppose the machine that was the Capitol.

"I didn't see Lucy as we were leaving the house." Florin said changing the subject. She had looked visibly tense up until this point.

"Oh, the powers that be didn't want her on camera." Johanna said, her snide remark causing Florin to tense up once more.

"Well that makes sense," Florin said, almost breathlessly, as if she were on trial, "No need to showcase an unnatural relationship."

The word 'unnatural' stung Johanna but she kept it to herself. Maybe that was the view of the Capitol; maybe that's why Snow wanted Lucy gone? These questions began to spin cogs in Johanna's mind and excitement grew deep within her. Perhaps when she spoke to Caesar she could tell the truth, with some gender specifics omitted.

* * *

"This train is spotless. How on earth do you manage to get dirt under your nails?" Cicero said.

"Oh I just like to be a challenge for you lot" Johanna said.

The three members of her prep team laughed and rushed around her as they cooed and ensured her that she was not a challenge at all. Johanna couldn't help but smile as they worked at preparing her body for District 12. They were an obnoxious and shallow group, but they were her obnoxious and shallow group.

"So what's today's concept?" Johanna said. Florin and her prep team always referred to Johanna's appearances as concepts and ideas; they were thoroughly unimpressed when she refereed to them as simply 'outfits'.

"Florin came up with something genius." Maxima said as he applied her makeup. "We're continuing with the red and going for full on warrior goddess. Twelve won't have ever seen anything like this; they'll be talking about you for years to come."

"Yeah, I'll bet." Johanna said.

Once her preparations were complete Johanna was ushered by her prep team into Florin's cabin. Johanna always liked Florin's cabin as it had extra windows for more light. As she entered the cabin, Florin handed her a red dress and told her to get dressed quickly in her bathroom. Despite what looked like light, frilly material the dress was surprisingly heavy. Johanna caught sight of herself in a mirror as she returned to the cabin; she didn't look like herself anymore, someone hardened and fierce looked back at her now.

"Darling, come here so I can put on the finishing touches" Florin said.

Johanna obeyed silently like a puppet on strings; all the while she looked out the windows as they approached their destination. In all directions around her she could see snow and trees and immediately felt homesick before a slight distress and a burning question set in.

"Eh Florin?" Johanna said.

"Yes."

"It's snowing outside."

"So it is darling, you always were very observant."

"No I mean, won't I freeze in this dress?"

"Not at all." Florin said. "The dress has thermal technology built into the material that will create a pocket of warm air around you when we get outside."

"That's amazing." Johanna said, she was always in awe of the capabilities of the Capitol.

"No darling, I'm amazing. The dress is just some clever thinking." Florin laughed.

* * *

The similarities between District 12 and her home District began and ended with the trees and snow. The houses in Twelve were dilapidated buildings and everyone and everything was darkened by soot and coal. The tribute Johanna had killed from 12 had looked frail and Johanna had thought that was due to starvation in the games; she'd never have guessed it was a physical characteristic shared by most citizens of the District. As Johanna stepped onto the platform of the train station guided by Noctus, she couldn't help but feel if there was ever a place that dreams went to die, it would look something like District 12. A brisk breeze wove it's way through the train station; as it's icy touch began to make Johanna shiver the unique nature of her dress flared into life and she was encased in warm air. Johanna shook the mayor's hand, he eyed her revealing attire curiously before apparently deciding to think nothing of it as he guided her and her team to a group of cars where Peacekeepers awaited them.

Noctus squeezed into the car beside her.

"It's just a quick speech at the square this time and then a nice dinner in the town hall. In and out then back on the train." Noctus said.

"What should I say?" Johanna said.

"This." He said as he handed her some cards.

"Thank you."

They continued on in silence as Johanna stared out at the buildings they passed. If she had to describe District 12 in one word Johanna would have said grey; the district was grey from it's buildings and roads to even the colours of the clothes the people wore. District 12 did have a school though, something her home District had lost in years past when it was deemed children learned more from cutting down trees then they did from books, and it too like everything else was grey.

The journey from the train station to the town hall was over in minutes and before she knew what was happening, Johanna was standing behind an open door with a microphone being clipped to her and the smell of mould to keep her company.

"You nervous?" Noctus asked.

"A little. I remember seeing other Victors give praise to their allies from a District if they had any. What do you say to a District if you murdered their tribute?"

"Anything you want, as nothing you say will make them forgive you."

"I wish Sola were here."

"She'll be watching you from home. No matter what you do she'll be proud of you." Noctus said.

"Thanks." Johanna said. "That actually helps a little."

Through the door before her Johanna could hear the Mayor say her name; the doors were opened and she was thrust out into the light. A round of applause greeted her but it was hollow and forced. She must have been a strange sight to them; a girl wearing a revealing red dress while snow and grey surrounded her.

Two stages were before her. On one stood a group of young children and two adults behind an image of the female tribute from twelve; Johanna had never met her as she'd died on the first day. On the other stood an old man and a younger boy. The boys face mirrored the male tribute behind him, a twin. His eyes were hard with rage and they locked onto hers for a moment before she looked away. Regret and guilt threatened to engulf Johanna but she fought them down with every last ounce of her resolve; Snow would not forgive her for breaking character. With a deep breath she began to read Noctus' cards of praise for the Capitol. If District Twelve didn't hate her before she started speaking, there was no doubt that they would once she was done.


	8. Chapter 8 - Conviction

**Chapter 8 - Conviction**

As soon as she had finished delivering her Capitol approved speech to the denizens of District 12, Johanna turned on her heel and left. The audience looking up at her had been a mixture of contempt and loathing; there was only so much of both that she could take. Back within the sanctuary of the double doors she found her team gathered around a screen, it had likely been showing her speech to District 12 but now it displayed a montage of her time in the games. Johanna tried her best not to look at it and instead focussed on the people before her. Arm in arm with a beaming Florin, Noctus gave her a thumb's up. She smiled awkwardly in response.

"You served warrior goddess realness!" Cicero said.

"Thank you?"

Taking a step forward Noctus said, "Dinner is in two hours."

"No need to get complacent people. We have work to do." Florin finished. Like obedient dogs awaiting their master, her prep team descended on her once more.

* * *

"This is different" Johanna said, looking in the mirror and admiring the simple pink dress and flat shoes that she was wearing.

"We figured we'd take the edge off for the dinners." Florin said as she entered the room with Noctus. With a flick of her wrist the prep team scattered, likely to get themselves ready for the dinner. They weren't important enough in the Capitol to score invitations to fancy dinners but here in the Districts they practically ranked as celebrities.

"I love it." Johanna said as Florin put the finishing touches to her makeup; she looked human again.

"You look beautiful, darling."

Together the three of them walked through the town hall, following the smell of food to it's source behind two large doors. Pushing through the doors Johanna found herself sucked into the beginning of what would become indistinguishable rounds of dinners, ceremonies, and train rides. Days fell into repetitive routines. Get up. Dress in something scary and warrior-like. Ride through cheering or seething crowds. Listen to a speech dedicated to her victory. Give a Capitol approved thank you speech in response. Return indoors and undergo a costume change to appear soft and delicate. Attend dinner. Train. Rinse, lather, and repeat.

It wasn't long before the draining nature of the tour began to take it's toll on Johanna. Each District brought with it memories of fallen tributes, and with them came nightmares filled with blood and pine. Her appetite began to vanish. Florin began to take in her dresses at the waist. Her prep team lathered on more and more makeup to cover up the effects of lack of sleep. Noctus offered sleeping pills but she refused them. She had come to realise that Lucy was the cause; her absence left Johanna feeling hollow. This revelation brought with it a certain sort of clarity for Johanna; she could live with every aspect of being a victor except not having Lucy. Without Lucy life seemed meaningless.

* * *

Last before the Capitol were the appearances in District 2 and 1, which to Johanna were their own special kind of awful. Seeing the faces of the fallen career pack brought back memories of Edwin, and that emotional wound she thought healed tore itself back open once more. Her nights became crowded with different horrors vying for her attention. A bleeding Edwin. The Screaming Dead. Her victims. Blood and Pine.

Reaching the Capitol was both a relief and a new form of torture; the end was in sight but there was still so much left to endure. Everywhere she went she was accompanied by screaming fans. It wasn't like the Districts with their forced enthusiasm; these people practically worshipped the ground she walked on.

"Johanna, punch me in the face!" was nowhere near the strangest request she had shouted to her by the citizens of the Capitol.

* * *

Finding herself on the seventh floor in her old quarters within the Training Centre, Johanna knew she was at the final hurdle. Her interview with Caesar was just a few hours away and she was being fitted into a sparkling green cocktail dress. Johanna couldn't tell if this fit the brief of warrior goddess or dainty girl; she didn't care anymore either. Thinking of her intentions for the interview, she knew Sola would disapprove.

Seeking some sort of reassurance she said allowed, "I was thinking of talking about Lucy to Caesar. Saying I was seeing someone but just keeping it gender neutral."

Her prep team cooed in response and Florin who had been deep in conversation with Noctus said "That's nice, darling."

_Good enough, _Johanna thought.

That night Johanna was broadcasted to all of Panem from the stage before the Training Centre as she was greeted by Caesar Flickerman. His hair was a dyed a deep brown while he sported a dark green suit; colours of the forest. The colours she had apparently made famous. Johanna found herself bumbling through a few questions before the moment of truth arrived.

"And the question on everyone's lips is, does the devilish dame from District Seven belong to anyone?"

"Actually yes. I am seeing someone."

Caesar looked visibly stunned for a moment before saying, "Who is it? Details please!"

"Actually I'd like to respect their privacy. But they're very important to me, and if they're watching I'd like them to know how sorry I am." With those words Johanna suddenly found herself feeling lighter. The guilt and burden she didn't even realise she'd been carrying melted away. She felt free.

* * *

All that was left that evening was the party held in the banquet room of President Snow's mansion. Noctus and Florin said it was the party of the year and Johanna soon came to understand why. The forty-foot ceiling had been transformed into the image of the setting sun that was so realistic Johanna felt you could be forgiven for forgetting it was night time. Standing atop platforms shaped like the branches of small trees, that mirrored those from District Seven, musicians performed with instruments that looked like they were made of leaves. All around her Johanna could see flowers and couches; excess masquerading as nature. Within this juxtaposition of nature and the Capitol's elite Johanna spotted tables mounted with towering piles of food. Everything you could think of and several things you could never imagine, encompassing all of the colours of the rainbow, waited to be consumed by the glamorous and the gluttons alike. With her newfound lightness and feeling of freedom, Johanna also felt her appetite return. She moved from table to table trying as many different foods as she could whilst somewhat successfully avoiding having to make pleasant small talk with her adoring fans. It wasn't long before Johanna found herself both unable to eat another bite and all alone; Florin, Noctus and her design team lost to the crowd.

Johanna had just begun her search for them amongst the frolicking elite of the Capitol when a tall man in a dark suit tapped her on the shoulder.

"President Snow would like to speak with you in private. This way please."

Silently she followed him away from the crowd. The mansion seemed like a maze to her, but the man in the suit knew were he was going. He led her to a brown wooden door before gesturing for her to proceed. The room she entered was large and brightly lit, with colossal windows overlooking the Capitol by moonlight. Johanna heard the door lock behind her with a click. Before the window sat President Snow at a large white marble desk. Before his desk stood five men in suits like the one that had brought her to this room. Each of the five men held a pistol in their right hand. Kneeling before the five men with a gun pressed to the back of their heads were, from left to right; Noctus, Cicero, Maxima, Glaucia, and Florin. Their heads were bowed low; Noctus was sporting a broken nose and Glaucia had a black eye.

A cold dread filled Johanna.

"Ms. Mason, I gave you very clear instructions."

BANG! Three guns fired. Johanna found herself gasping as blood splattered her and her prep team fell forward; a bullet through the brain for each of them. A coppery taste filled her mouth that made her want to vomit. She was too shocked to say a word. Her eyes began to well with tears; this wasn't real, this couldn't be real.

"But I'm not a man without mercy. So you may choose between Florin and Noctus." President Snow said in the same tone of voice that a father might use when telling a child to choose between two cereals for breakfast.

"I can't make that choice?" Johanna said. She was struggling to speak. It felt like she was drowning.

"As you wish."

BANG! Two guns fired and simultaneously Johanna was splattered by the blood of her Escort and her Stylist. She collapsed to her knees as tears fell freely from her eyes. She felt cold, like she herself had died. How far did this punishment go? How many loved ones were dead because of her disobedience?

"Ms. Mason, from now on when I give instructions you will follow them to the letter. Do you understand?"

Johanna was struggling to breath. She nodded before croaking out the word "Lucy?"

"When it comes to Lucy I want you to remember just one thing. We reap what we sow."

Given the shock she had just endured, it took Johanna a few moments to understand what the President was saying to her.

We reap what we sow. Reap. Reaping Day.

_Lucy was going to be reaped as a tribute!_


	9. Chapter 9 - Crack

**Chapter 9 - Crack**

They then descended on her too; fists drove her to her knees. Hands gripped her and dragged her across the tiled floor now slick with blood. Roughly, she was brought to her feet and guided along dimly lit hallways. Everything blurred and Johanna felt like she was just watching the events unfold from outside of her body. This couldn't be her life. Nothing so cruel could happen in real life. Johanna was escorted through a labyrinth of corridors away from the public and the people of the Capitol; out of sight and out of mind. The men guiding her didn't utter a single word, only shoving Johanna if she ever slowed to a stop. Johanna in turn never attempted to speak to them; it was almost as if she couldn't muster the strength to make a sound and even if she could, what possible words could follow the monstrous act she'd just witness these men commit?

Light streaked across the sky to give way to a bloody sunrise and Johanna became distantly aware of her surroundings. She had been marched through the night to the train station. A dull part of her mind registered the hunger in her stomach, the tiredness preying on her soul, and the dull ache of exhausted and bruised limbs, but all of these feeling dissolved into the all consuming numbness that emanated from her core. The men forced her into a seat on the train and then, silent as wraiths, they left. Johanna remained alone and fixed in her position as the doors slid shut and the train sped from the Capitol. Caked in blood she stared vacantly out the window. As day transitioned into night Johanna allowed darkness to take her. An external onlooker who saw her fall from her seat to the train floor might have thought she was asleep, but the fitful nightmare Johanna awoke from felt far too torturous to be considered sleep. Not eating, not thinking, vacantly staring, barely sleeping, barely breathing; she remained like this until her train finally slowed to a stop within the cold woodland that was District 7. Somewhere behind her head Johanna heard the hiss as the train door slid open. For a few minutes there was silence save for the chill breeze that whipped at her exposed, puffy, and bruised face. Then there was the sound of footsteps heralding the movements of someone along the train station.

"Johanna!"

More darkness.

* * *

The blurring that dulled Johanna from reality began to shatter as she realised that Isaac and Lucy had propped her up and were helping carry her home. Cold air wrapped it's icy tendrils around her, hunger threatened to rip a hole in her stomach, her bruises throbbed painfully, and deep beneath the surface, her heart ached. Ahead of them all, Sola had barged through the door of Johanna's home and was shouting orders. Johanna glimpsed her mother's pale face, and further behind her she caught sight of Blight's stern demeanour.

"Johanna? Can you say something please?" Someone said. Johanna's brain was too muddled to place the voice.

"Food."

Johanna was placed softly into a chair at her table, Lucy and Isaac both took care to touch her gently and still she cried out when they accidentally hit a bruise. Everything began to blur again and Johanna found herself clenching her fists to stay focused on reality. A bowl of warm broth was dropped in front of her and it took all of Johanna's strength to eat it. Around her conversation abounded: Sola was stating that she knew something was up when Snow had cancelled the feast in District Seven, Isaac and Lucy were arguing about something to the point that they both seemed to be on the verge of tears, Johanna's mother moved busily around the dining room arranging and then rearranging table settings, and Blight sat in the corner and repeatedly asked Johanna questions which she ignored.

"What happened to you?" Blight said.

"Will you shut up Blight?" Lucy snapped. "She'll talk when she's ready too."

Silence fell across the group as they turned to Johanna, hoping for a response.

She finished her bowl of broth; it felt heavy in her stomach.

"I'm covered in blood." Johanna said as if she'd only just noticed the fact herself, her voice sounded so distant. Then without warning, she began to laugh hysterically.

"Maybe a bath might help?" Her mother said.

* * *

It took almost an hour for Johanna's mother to wash all of the blood off of her, leaving the bath water that surrounded Johanna a deep crimson.

"I don't think there's any major damage, just bruising." Her mother said.

The dark purple bruises inflicted upon her were clearly visible on her clean pale skin. But they would heal fast. Johanna knew that the other pain she felt might not be such a quick fix.

"He killed them. Noctus, Florin, all of them."

"I guessed something like that might happen when I saw you on TV."

Guilt stabbed through Johanna and she shuddered until it passed.

"I haven't cried yet. I feel like I might burst, but I haven't cried yet."

"The tears will come when you're ready. We're all here for you."

Johanna forced a smile and her mother's look of concern wavered as she smiled in return.

"I'll give you some privacy to get dressed." Her mother said as she quickly left the tiled bathroom.

Johanna clutched her knees and sat still in the bathtub. The warm bath felt comforting but she stared off into space to avoid looking at the crimson water. Alone and in silence, tears began to roll down her face.

* * *

Cleaned, fed, and dressed in her own clothes Johanna returned to the dining room where her mother, Sola, Lucy, Isaac, and Blight sat in deep discussion. They stopped talking immediately at the sight of her; waiting patiently for her to speak. Johanna was starting to feel like her old self again but there was a painful weight that had made it's home in her stomach and she couldn't help but feel that this had to all be a dream. Staring into Lucy's eyes, Johanna was about to tell them everything that had transpired since she'd left home, when President Snow's last words came rushing back to her.

_We reap what we sow_

"You're going to be a tribute." She blurted out.

"What?" Lucy said.

"How could you know this?" Sola asked.

"Snow's going to fix it next year. He's going to make you a tribute to punish me. I am so sorry."

Johanna had expected Lucy to scream, or cry, or to blame Johanna for her fate. But she did not, she just took a deep breath before saying, "Well I'm much better than you, so I've pretty much got it in the bag anyway."

For the first time in what felt like forever, Johanna smiled and genuinely felt it. Without wasting anymore time Johanna quickly regaled them all on the events of the tour. When she got to the executions they were all horrified.

"Bastard." Isaac muttered to himself.

"They will certainly be missed." Blight said.

Normally Johanna would tell him to shut up in response, but not now. He was right.

Glancing around the room Johanna said, "Snow wanted to break me, and I'll admit he came close. He's not going to get another chance."

Johanna spent that evening in the company of friends and family; she spent her night snuggled within Lucy's embrace beneath her duvet. She was home and, for now at least, she was safe.


End file.
